Wackadoodles

Kri Bouvier + Billy Justini

Not much is known about Kri B. and Billy J.’s current whereabouts, for reasons I’ll get into shortly, but we do know that Cousin Kri was born in 1990 in PixieDust New Mexico. From a young age she exhibited a fiendish intelligence and an occasionally endearing (but often annoying) trickster streak, which eventually evolved into full-blown kleptomania by the time she was 13. She met and married a handsome stranger named Billy Justini in a private ceremony in Baja California and after that, news about the couple was scarce.

It’s been speculated that a series of high-profile heists across the west coast could have been the couple’s doing, but those reports are strangely unreliable for this modern age of smartphones and camera drones. I’ve also heard that the couple has had two children, and I feel like both of these stories can’t be true… right?

Documents

• The MoMA Theft: Article from the [San Francisco Chronicle](San Francisco Chronicle) detailing the theft of a nearly two-story tall sculpture from MoMA’s lobby. The sculpture was a series of long metal strips that hung from the ceiling like windchimes; the entire sculpture weighed several tons, yet had somehow vanished without a trace, and with no obvious signs of tampering. The museum curator was quoted as being “shocked” with the theft, saying it “looked like the statue had never been there at all”, and expressing further dismay that anyone would go to such lengths to steal such a bland sculpture.

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